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I have a confession. I love reality tv. My very favourite show is Tori and Dean.
When I first watched the show I wasn’t that into it. Tori seemed kind of whiny and high maintenance.
But the more I watched it the more I liked it because Tori and Dean seem to have a lovely relationship.
It taught me that when your priorities are straight, when your husband and family come before anything else, the other pieces just seem to fall into place. There’s less challenge in struggling career and family, because when you know your most important job is your family, I guess you don’t stay late at work and leave your kids with their nanny night after night. You also make sure that doing lovely things happen regularly, like surprising your honey for Valentine’s Day or taking a weekend trip away.
And Tori and Dean are always doing kind and thoughtful things for each other. They really respect each others wishes, and they make spending time together as a family a priority, and they keep the sparks alive.
It’s lovely to see.
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Recently I was walking past a wig store and came across this muostache wig.
Seriously? A moustache wig? And is that on a female model?
How strange.
But then I tried to imagine who would need one of these.
Do you think police officers that are facially hair challenged pick these up to fit in?
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A mini staycation may be the perfect fix for you! It doesn’t take a ton of planning and can be really inexpensive too.
Step One: Set aside a day or two and make it into a mini staycation. It could be right now, or if you’re slammed with work/life within the next little while.
Step Two: Think of all the great things in your city that you just never get to see. Remember that art gallery that re-opened that you have never been to? That amazing Swiss restaurant that you have been dying to try? Make a list of what you want to do, and then figure out what you can reasonably do within two days…but make sure you save some time for relaxing so you’re not burned out from your mini staycation.
Step Three: Make any reservations that need to be made, and contact your friends if you’d like to include them in your plans.
Step Four: Based on what you want to do, and who you want to do it with, build a basic schedule for your mini staycation.
Step Five: Enjoy!
Here’s an example of a staycation plans and budget for a 2 day mini vacation in Toronto. For me I love to tour around and get exercise, so those are central to my plans.
Friday night:
- Nap after work
- Meet up with friends and try out the cheese fondue place on Elm Street for a late dinner ($60 per person)
Saturday:
- Sleep in
- Grab a coffee and go to specialty book store with big fluffy coaches and classical music playing. Select a few books that will set my imagination on fire! ($30)
- Go for a light lunch on Front Street ($20)
- Drop by St. Lawrence Market – pick up some flowers and wine ($40)
- Take a long walk along the Toronto Harbourfront – get some exercise and sit on the beach chairs watching the waves pass by while letting my mind wander
- Return home, have a hot bath and get all sassied up for tonight.
- Date night! Go to the new French “communal style” restaurant I’ve been dying to try out ($120 for 2)
Sunday:
- Sleep in
- Go for a swim and steam
- Head up to the Art Gallery of Ontario for lunch ($25)
- Tour around the gallery and get art inspired! ($20)
- Go to High Park for a walk and duck watching
- Head home, order sushi in, read new books and relax! ($20)
For a total of $335 I’ve lived like a queen for a weekend, seen the scenes, and had a lovely mini staycation.
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For most people getting married is a huge step. And not just a step into a loving future, but also a step into uncertainty. No matter how much time you spend with your man, how well do you really know him? Do you know what he wants/desires/dislikes and how this fits in with your life?
For some religions couples counselling is required prior to getting married. It’s a way to make sure you want the same things and share similar values. But what about everyone else?
To make sure you’re on the same page it’s a good idea to have a heart to heart with your mate. And it doesn’t need to be big and heavy, so go ahead, open the wine, light the candles and share, share sugarbear. Listen with open ears and speak with no consequences. It’s a great way to get to know where your mates heads at, and see how his answers work with yours.
1. Do you want to have children?
How many? Who will take care of them? How will you afford them? For many couples this is a hugely important issue. Make sure you share values and get a chance to see how each of you feel about your roles/responsibilities. Does he want you to stay at home? Are you okay with that? Does he want one and you want six?
2. Can you talk about money?
Do you agree on spending/saving habits? How much money do you need to have a good life? Is that realistic? Who is/are the breadwinners? These are all really important questions to clear up and put out on the table. Make sure you share money values – this is one of the major reasons couples fight and/or split up. If your answers are not 100% the same that may not be a deal breaker, but if you can’t agree on anything take it as a red flag.
3. Can you talk about sex?
Do you have the same sex drive? Can you talk openly about what you like/don’t like? Sex is another couple breaker upper, and taps into some of our deepest worries/fears/concerns so have a good chat about it. It’s better to find out that he wants an open marriage and you only want vanilla sex sooner rather than later.
4. What’s your dream life?
This one is so open ended, and can be tricky…but that’s why it’s also great. Find out what your mate really wants, and make sure this works for you. Does he have an idea of what he wants, or a plan on how to get there? Some girls are willing to just wing it, while others need to know what’s in store. But best be careful here, and make sure your ship is sailing in the same direction, even if you have slightly different paths make sure you have the same general goals.
5. How are your parent’s relationships?
Many couples fall into the same patterns as their parents. If you want to make some changes how are you going to do this? Could you benefit from talking to a professional? These are pretty tough questions to answer, and many people resist doing anything other than talking about what kind of people they don’t want to become. If you want to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes as your parents you may benefit from some help.
6. What are you willing to do if things get really rough?
In this day of a 50% divorce rate it’s really important to figure out how you, and your partner, view commitment and what you would be willing to do if things got really rough. Would you be willing to give up your career aspirations and stay at home, or move to a small town to simplify life if finances got really tight? Ask yourself some tough questions to figure out where your priorities are, and what that means for your relationship. If one of you is willing to change everything and the other can only handle minor sacrifices you may have big value differences that are better to figure out before you get married.
7. How involved will your families be in your life? What about friends?
Family involvement and social time can be a big issue for some couples. If you want to cocoon with your own family but your husband wants a big fat Greek family dinner five nights a week it’s something you should know about. If your honey places hockey nights with his buddies over spending time with your sisters and best friends that’s something you should also pay attention to. Things won’t change that much when you get married, so take a clue from how you live now, and figure out if you still want to live that way five years down the road.
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Demi Moore is known for her great style, but this dress is soooo lovely. It’s very complimentary without being clingy, shows just enough skin, and the bows at the top add perfect detail.
The colours and the fabric also look amazing…not to mention her arm candy.
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In Toronto there are some wonderful and fun things to do for dates that can bump an average night up several notches. If you have a spare date evening and you want to do something different here is a fun plan just for you!
Start your night out at Rodney’s Oyster Bar on King Street. It’s a pretty rough and tumble environment, but the oysters are amazing and it’s a very open and social place. You can show up in a fancy dress and saddle up to the bar for few oysters, or wear jeans and spend the evening here, so don’t let this place set the tone for your outfit. Wear what you want and enjoy the adventure of eating shucked oysters while sipping champagne. The oysters are so fresh and wonderful, not to mention an aphrodisiac!
After your oyster adventure head out to the Davisville LCBO (liquor store). It may seem like a bit of a strange spot, but the historic building has a gorgeous tasting room where you can sample some divine wines in a beautiful environment. Make sure you each sample different wines and share them…it’s a nice romantic thing to do and you get to learn something too! But beware, there’s a limit of two samples per person and the tasting room closes at 8pm, so try to show up at 7 so you’re not rushed.
To end your evening go to the bar at Scaramouche. As a part of the fancy (and pricey) restaurant the bar is a more casual (i.e. fun) environment with the same gorgeous views as Scaramouche and phenomenal foods. There some fantastic mains here but if you want something lighter the asparagus, buffalo mozzarella and pesto salad is simply divine.
As you wind down the evening sip a desert wine and look over the city…it’s the perfect way to end a fun and adventurous date, which depending on what you eat, doesn’t have to cost a fortune.
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Like every girl I love having long hair to play with, style, pin up and style down, and add bits of colour every now and then.
But once in a while I see a hair cut that makes me want to chop it all off and sport a super sassy hairdo.
I love how edgy, sophisticated and easy this hair looks.
But I used to have short hair. So I know it’s not that easy. You need to cut your hair once a month to keep it looking good. You always have to have polished clothes and nicely shined shoes, because short hair and sloppy Saturday style just makes you look bummy. And you don’t get to mix up your hair style with a huge variety.
So everytime I’m tempted to chop it all off I try to remember how difficult it really is.
Temptation be gone!
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Ever wonder why all these bad dating things keep on happening to you? Why do you only seem to meet jerky guys? Do you date guys for a few weeks and then they just disappear?
If that sounds familiar there’s a key component that’s in every one of these negative situations – you. Yes, the unfortunate truth is that if you keep on finding yourself dating guys that have no future, waiting for a guy to call and he never does, or going out with guys that always seem to disappear after three months chances are very high that you are doing something to make sure you always end up in these situations. Most likely you are participating in your own dating demise – yup, you are your own dating enemy.
There are several common ways that women sabotage their own dating success.
1. Doubting yourself. We all project our feelings about ourselves onto others. If you carry around huge feelings of doubt, and worry, and shame others will pick this up. If you were trying to hire someone for a job wouldn’t you rather chose the person who seemed comfortable with what they bring to the table, instead of the self doubter? You are also looking for a position to fill in someone’s life…so make sure you’re presenting your best self…and you just might find the perfect mate.
2. Not knowing what you want. If you are searching for a partner make sure you know what qualities that person has. It’s best to do this when you feel comfortable, happy and relaxed. Don’t do this when you are feeling sad, lonely, used or abused. You want this list to be a list of your dream man. Not a list of the type of guy you don’t want. If your list has several “he doesn’t yell at me, he’s not cheap, etc etc” you know you are not in the right place to be writing now. Step back, take a sip of tea or a walk and start again. This is your dream “want” list, not a list of things you are trying to avoid.
3. Falling for guys tricks. Not everyone wants to be your boyfriend. And not everyone has great intentions. So beware of some of the silly tricks guys play to make sure you don’t fall for them. Do guys try and talk to you about sex right away? He’s testing you to see if you’ll take the bait…so don’t fall for it. Does he say he’ll call at 9, but always call much later. Let that one go, he’s not into you and he’s just testing what you’ll put up with. Don’t waste your time on this guy, he’s not serious and he just wants to play.
4. Not setting limits. So many women justify bad behaviour of their dates. He hasn’t called you in a week, and then he calls at midnight and wants to get together. Stop playing games with yourself! Don’t make excuses for others. Actions speak louder than words, and if a guy wants you, he’ll make sure you know it. If you don’t know where you stand you probably don’t stand anywhere. Set limits on what you will accept and what you won’t, and don’t deviate from this.
5. Dating the same guy every time. If you date the same type of guy and it never seems to work out you should look into what you like and what you don’t like. If you want to date out of your comfort zone and find your perfect match you need to look at all the similarities in your past and figure out why you went for those guys. When you see patterns emerge you can figure out how to avoid them in the future.
6. Lacking faith. It may take some time to find your dream guy, but you have got to believe. You have to know in your heart of hearts that your perfect match is out there, and you have to give all types of guys chances until you find him. Don’t give up.
7. Dating the bad boy. Yes, they were exciting when you were 18, but there’s no place for them in your life now. It’s that simple. If you are looking for a mate you need to get over the bad boy type. Think of the perfect father of your children, or a best friend…and try and find this guy. The bad boy will never measure up, or be any good at being a great dad or supportive partner. So leave him in your past where he belongs.
If you are single and wondering why things never seem to work out, take a deep look at what you’re doing and you may just find out you’re more involved with your own dating demise far more than you ever imagined.
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In Canada everyone is freaking out over the outbreak of swine flu. It’s in the papers everyday, on the radio every hour, and on tv every minute. It’s everywhere!
The government has approved a vaccine for the swine flu and it’s now available at health clinics across the country – and everyone seems to want one.
I’m not really into vaccines or medical fads so I haven’t been paying much attention.
But last week I had my first visit with my newfound family doctor (you can read about it here).
I pulled up to the family medicine clinic to fill out the appropriate forms and get to know my new doctor. As I was waiting in the reception area I couldn’t help but notice all the children, and babies and toddlers and mothers that were waiting around. At first I thought I was in the wrong place – was I at the children’s doctors…where little kids sit on fire truck tables and get booster shots? Was I at a fertility clinic? Seriously, where was I?
I filled out my forms and waited patiently for my name to get called. After a few minutes I was summoned in. The doctor explained that I should have a basic health checkup…but I’d have to wait at least two weeks for my appointment because right now they are only doing H1N1 flu vaccines.
Oh…I get it. That’s why all the mothers and children were waiting – for their vaccinations. For me I wasn’t worried about that, with all the mothers and babies around the only thing I was worried about catching was a pregnancy!
Photo Credit: www.lilsugar.com
