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Ever wondered if you are really as style savvy as you think you are?
I think I’m pretty smart in the home decor category…but when I did this Style at Home quiz it didn’t agree.
I’ll tell you how I did if you tell me how you did!
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Today’s post is a guest post from my friend Heena. Heena is a Toronto lawyer who was “restructured” earlier in 2009.
Enjoy! Ingrid
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When Donald Trump utters the words “Your Fired”, it makes for must-see t.v., but when your boss says, “We no longer require your services”, it’s a whole different ball game. This is exactly the situation I found myself in five months ago. I have to admit, I didn’t see it coming and the whole scenario seemed a bit surreal as I sat there, with a VP, HR and outplacement services. Once I peeled myself off the floor, consulted my lawyer and negotiated a severance package I was left with the daunting task of reconciling my feelings of hurt and anger over the loss of my job.
To put things in perspective, you probably need to know a bit about me. At age 34, I’m a successful professional woman with a condo in a swish area of Toronto, with a mortgage, student loans and other financial responsibilities of the typical 30 something set. I live a pretty good life, I like to vacation, eat out, shop and go for cocktails. Not quite the ‘Sex in the City’ life but certainly a watered down version. So being the sole income earner in a family of one, was going to throw this ‘girl about town’s’ life on its ear.
The first step was to deal with the anger. I needed to vent and vent I did. Confiding in my close knit circle of friends, I cursed, yelled and cried, until I was emotionally spent. Then I stepped back and looked at this situation for what it really was, an opportunity. As my friends reminded me, I had not been happy at my job for quite a while but had remained there out of complacency. I had been half-heartedly looking for other jobs, but I had become trapped in the comfort of familiarity and a steady paycheck. Not to mention the recent global economic melt-down had me nervous about making any risky moves.
So here I was, not of my own free-will but forced to face my career dissatisfaction head on. I let go of any feelings of inadequacy and blame and prepared a plan for moving forward. With the help of a career counselor I took stock of all of the things I didn’t like about my previous jobs, identified my key strengths and weaknesses and made a list of my interests. From there, I narrowed down my career options to four different paths and assessed their suitability by comparing pros and cons.
Once I decided on the top two options, I started doing some research and tapped into my network to see if anyone I knew was doing those jobs currently and met with them to do a bit of informational interviewing. I also met with everyone I knew to let them know that I was looking and told them exactly what I was interested in. Through networking and conventional means of job searching, I have had 7 interviews and am confident that I will land something very soon.
Being out of work is a very stressful time and it can often be difficult to remain motivated and positive. My experience has been not to fake it. If you’re having a bad day, give in to the bad day. Here are a few tips to make it through the rough patches:
- Treat yourself – “food is love”- sometimes it’s ok to indulge in that burger or piece of chocolate.
- Don’t feel guilty for not spending 24/7 in front of the computer searching for jobs – go for a walk or window shop to get some fresh air
- Stay connected with friends and family – you may have to be more frugal about spending money but that doesn’t mean you can’t go out for coffee or invite people over for a glass of wine.
- Get into an exercise routine and make sure you eat well most of the time – this will energize you and keep you in a positive head space.
- Pick up old hobbies or start a new one
- Organize your day so that you are doing a variety of activities – get started on small projects you’ve been meaning to get to but just haven’t had the time
- Ask for help – if you don’t have anyone to talk to and the stress is getting the better of you, speak with your doctor or get a counselor. We all need help sometimes and it is not a weakness to ask for it. Losing a job is right up there on the stress scale with divorce and death.
Remember, losing your job is not the end of the world. If you take this time to figure out what you really want out of life, chances are, you will end up in a much better place than where you began.
Heena
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I love home decor and designs. I could spend weeks browsing through stores looking at nick knacks, paint colours, home accessories and design elements. I could go to open houses every weekend. I could buy all the coffee table books and magazines on beautiful houses and homes.
If I had it my way I’d be changing my apartment design every month.
But, clearly that gets a little pricey.
So, for now I’ll stick to my pink 377 square foot apartment, and keep the plan to redecorate in my back pocket.
But even then, the styles of homes I like are so varied. Stone and wood detached homes look cozy, deep red brick square homes look traditional, and I love modern townhouses too. I just can’t decide!
I think I’ll have to be a house flipper in the future so I get to experiment with all these different styles!
Photo Credit: Young House Love Blog
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Most girls love change. We change our clothes a few times every morning, our accessories every day, our hair a few times a week, and sometimes our male companions monthly and jobs and homes semi annually.
But how much change is too much?
When the major components of life – living, loving and labouring – are always changing, it may be too much.
There’s something nice about constants in life. Like work you’ve maintained for years, friends you’ve had since grade school, or homes that have been in your family for generations. It says you’re rooted, comfortable, and reliable. Maybe your vacations change, or your Tuesday dinners, but you’re not always in flux. People know what to expect from you…and you’ve passed the test of time in many situations. You don’t have disposable friends, temporary housing, or castaway career ambitions.
Like most girls I love change. I thrive on it…it fuels me up and gives me energy. I find nothing more exciting than travelling to foreign soil and being thrown in a land of surprises, where everything is changing and dramatically different than what I’m used to.
I’ve lived all across Canada, moved to France without speaking more than 20 words of French, and migrated to Asia without a clue of what I was getting into.
But when I got engaged so much change was on the table. Was I going to change my name? Was I going to sell my apartment, move into my fiancés apartment, rent another one, or buy a house? What about a family…were we going to try right away? Were we going to have a big wedding, a small wedding, a destination wedding, a themed wedding? Were we going to have another one in Argentina (where my fiancé is from)?
And that was just too much change. So for now, I’m going to get married and move into my fiancé’s apartment after we get married. And when, and only when, those changes have settled in I’ll be ready for more change.
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The story behind how Cashmere Clutch got started is probably not the typical story on why blogs are started.
In March of 2007 I had some major changes in my life. I ended a 5 year relationship that really didn’t seem fit into my dream life, and there was a lot of drama and bad stuff surrounding how it ended.
For me, I was ready to move on to bigger and better things and to find out what I really wanted out of my life.
So, I went into a big self discovery phase. I really wanted to know what I liked and didn’t like and figure out how I could get my dream life. I needed to try everything! I went on dates, with pretty much every type of guy there is. I played pretty much every sport there is too. I traveled a lot, I spent time with a wide variety of people, I exposed myself to different arts, music and influences. I was really hungry to take everything in.
I drank, danced, dated and dined my way from March 07 – January 08, and I was ready for a change.
But change was slow to come, and the weather wasn’t helping my discoveries. The winter of 2008 was terrible! It snowed so much and many of my weekend plans kept on getting cancelled and I was home bound. At the time I didn’t have a tv…it was just me and my laptop. I think I viewed all 7 billion web pages…I may have even found my way to the end of the internet!
I was also in a bit of a tight spot financially – I’d bought my first apartment and spent a bit more money than I should have on things that helped me settle into my new place. That meant I didn’t have extra cash floating around to spend on entertainment. I think I may have budgeted $100 for food and entertainment per week. Even going to the movies was a stretch for me!
So, with minimal entertainment, no money, and the weather working against me I decided to start writing stories on what I discovered in the past year. And wrote I did. I had about 200 entries logged into my computer.
But I had nowhere to put them. And when I found out how much it would cost to customize a blog template it just wasn’t possible. I was quoted $5,000. And for a hobby it was way too much money!
So, I just kept on writing my stories without thinking much of it.
And then I started dating someone who had web experience. After dating a few months he offered to help make my blog dreams come true – he offered to code it all up for me, as long as I gave him all the design files to implement.
So I worked with my designer friend, Angela – whose blog is here, who did up all the photoshop design files for me (thanks darling!). Once we had something we liked I handed it over to my boyfriend.
After a few months my blog was ready to go! It was an exercise in patience that’s for sure. Since my boyfriend (now fiancé) was doing it for free, and my requirements had changed a few times I realized that I couldn’t be demanding or really even ask “When is it going to be done” more than two times a month.
But it got done in a reasonable amount of time…and I’ve changed the look a few times too, so I couldn’t really complain!
Once it was up and running I started putting stories in. It was a very interesting experience. I’m not that open of a person, and writing details about my less than happy childhood was definitely a first! It pushed me a bit out of my comfort zone, but on a positive note I feel more comfortable speaking openly with people, and it’s really helped me come out of my shell. Especially for things that are tough to talk about.
So once I got more comfortable sharing stories online I wanted to update Cashmere Clutch more and more often.
It became not only a way to update friends and family, but also a creative outlet.
Instead of it being a once in while thing, it became something I wanted to do every day.
And that’s how Cashmere Clutch got started!
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Back in June I bought an iphone 3G. I was so excited. I was going to be super technological. One of those people in “the gadget club” who has all the latest and greatest tools and knows about killer apps and upgrades.
It turns out I’m not one of those.
I’m just a regular phone user.
I use my iphone for
- making calls
- text messaging
- taking pictures
- booking schedules
- checking the weather
I’m just a basic phone user. I’ve only ever downloaded two applications to my phone. And they were for my fiancé.
I guess I didn’t need a $500 phone for that!
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I stumbled upon this purse in BCBG the other day, and I fell in love with it immediately!
It’s girly and sexy. It’s simple and luxurious. And it’s intricate and detailed without being complicated.
It’s the perfect party purse!
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Since we’ve decided to have a destination wedding there are heaps and piles of details that need to be figured out.
Are we going to have an event each night for our guests?
Are we planning daily activities like boat trips, and snorkelling and cultural excursions?
Is there a theme?
How will the wedding day work?
Yup, there are many, many questions coming our way. And just about everytime we get one of those questions the answer is “We don’t know”. And we really don’t know.
But one of the cool things about not knowing what you’re going to do on our wedding day is that all your options are open.
You can look at crazy fancy decorations. Or tiny little seating cards. Or simple and sleek flower arrangements.
You can look at pretty much anything.
So until we have a budget figured out, the world truly is our oyster.
Photo Credit: Wedding Chicks
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In Toronto we have some great city parks, but one of the most gorgeous city spaces is Allan Gardens downtown.
There is a huge arboretum with several different rooms and climates. You can sit in one and feel like you’re on a tropical vacation, or go to another and be in a desert, or go to another and watch the fish swim in the pond with lily pads and other water plants.
Outside of the arboretum there are lots of beautiful old trees and little paths around the area. There’s also a little church on one of the corners.
But there’s a new addition to this small and historical city park. The super charming dog park areas. They have a cute little blue dog for the small dog park, and a cute green dog for the big dog area.
The little blue dog is my very favourite. It makes me want a puppy!
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It’s official, my fiancé and I have decided on a destination wedding.
I wanted to have it in the winter as there are no great holidays from Christmas until Easter. That way, if we have our wedding in that lull period we’ll have something exciting to celebrate every year.
Since that’s a very chilly time of year it seems only fitting it’s a destination wedding…why not have a getaway during our most freezing months of the year?
Plus, I’m from Vancouver Island, and my fiancé is from Argentina, and we have family coming from Alberta, Ontario, Quebec, Washington DC, Chicago, England and South America. How could we find a central place for all these people to meet?
Any which way you throw the dice it was going to be very complicated. So…..we put it in the middle.
It’s official, we’ll be getting married in March in the Mexican Riviera.
I can’t wait!
